Bigfoot Sightings Imminent as Winter Approaches
Photos, Videos and Interviews with Local Bigfoot Field Expert, Patsquatch Byrne and our local guide to outdoor adventure, Wild Willie.
The annual SW Missouri and Ozark Mountain Migration has begun!
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Pat "Patsquatch" Byrne has extensive experience in dealing with the large hairy beasts. Claiming to actually lived with a colony of them for a period of time one winter when he was very young, he has never quite been the same according to friends and family. Patsquatch has astounding stories of their social behavior and secretive lives which are so closely intertwined with that of humans. According to Legend, there is a modest migration of sorts that occurs in the Ozarks, specifically in South West Missouri every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This migration begins in the areas of the national forests and even as far as Anderson MO to the west and ends in the Bull Creek area near Rockaway Beach where they are presumed to winter.
We know that at least part of this story is true because of a mysterious "pelting of rocks" that occurred during the interview with Patsquatch. When asked of his time with the "Squatches" he replied; "I learned so much during my winter with the squatch. I discovered who this magical and mystical creature truly is." He went on to say that" "If you are ever able to spend much time in their presence, you will find that they are closely interactive with unicorns. I've even seen them riding unicorns from time to time. Although I've been close enough to pet a unicorn, I've personally never been able to ride one." When questioned further, He revealed more about their behavior. "They are not typically very vocal but do occasionally express themselves verbally. They communicate primarily through gestures and expressions and are very playful. They enjoy banging sticks together, pushing trees and throwing things such as rocks, sticks and, what seems to be a favorite, Hedgeapples."
As if on cue, the moment Patsquatch mentioned this behavior, the interview was cut short by a fury of rocks landing all around that seemingly appeared from the edge of the woods. SEE THE ACTUAL INTERVIEW HERE! Sure enough, if you were quick enough to look, there was the tell-tale rustling of leaves resembling a slight breeze from the direction of the onslaught. As all experts know, the rustling of leaves is the most authentic of bigfoot evidence. He went on to say that "The assault may have been related to their irritation of me revealing that they will tend to ride unicorns through the forest in attempt to conceal their footprints."
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Wild Willie also confirmed that sometime near Halloween, they notice a sudden absence of bigfoot sign in and around the Anderson area which would indicate that the annual migration had begun. This also coincides with the hedgeapple incident in the Branson West area, home of "Patsquatch Byrne". By all estimates, the Bigfoot sightings will soon begin to increase in and around the Bull Creek region and Rockaway Beach! In fact, they are likely already here. If you see sticks, rock or especially hedgeapples lying about where they shouldn't be, it is a sure sign of the presence of Bigfoot!
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A Few Previous Stories...….
Ancient Alien Skull Found near Bull Creek
Mysterious Black Limo Seen in Town
Local Yorkie Saves Citizens from Mountain Lions
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